Madras Cut

Today being a sunday, I was lazing on my couch and trying to get sense out of some of the programmes in certain tv channels. It was then I noticed that a tv channel was broadcasting some telugu movie dubbed into hindi under the name of " Madras Cut". Now this is what pissed me off real bad. This all started when I went to Delhi in 2003 for some academic purpose. To many north Indians, not the people who had never set their sight on a school building, but those who where preparing for the civil services examination and the other literate lot, everything in India to the south of Vindhyas is Madras and all the inhabitants there are " Madrasis". Well, well, I can modestly say that I am not a linguistic fanatic, neither am I one who believes in the narrow sense of regionalistic identitism, nevertheless I would prefer if people identify each other factually for what they are. I am not one of those who use identity for the purposes of violence, fanaticism and means of separation. But, in the global perspective, it is just similar to an Indian getting irritated if he/she is repeatedly identified to as a Bangladeshi, Chinese, Nepalese or a citizen of any other country, he/she does not belong to.

So, I hope that people get their geographies and their polities right, and that too, soon pleaseeeee.........!!!

The Strategic Management of Love-Lesson 2: The Art of Negotiation

If one has to negotiate in a relationship, follow the golden rules :)

1) Always play the reluctant lover
2) Dont open up with all ur thoughts, i.e., dont place all ur cards on the table, keep the other person guessing
3) Be emotionally detatched, rather, dont get emotionally invloved
4) Do not feel the need for the other person---a want can be compromised, not a want/desire
5) Dont act desperate
6) Dont act too interested

Negotiation is an art, it has to be developed. And one can become good at it only with practice. So, all u people out there, practice this with as many :) to master this art.

Not So Gay ?

The Delhi High Court ruling legalising or decriminalising homosexual acts amongst consenting adults has stirred a hornest's nest. The section 377 of the Indian Penal Code that criminalises consensual sexual acts between members of the same sex has been declared violative of Articles 21, 14 and 15 of the Indian Constitution. However, the reactions that have erupted quite vociferously against the Delhi HC ruling are regressive in nature.

An astrologer, Suresh Kaushal who was amonst the first to raise the objection, has said that even animals do not act in such unnatural ways. The SC would be hearing the merit in his stand, along with the voice of Naz, a gay rights activist group. There are also certain religious heads belonging to the Sikh, Muslim and the Christian communities who have been very explicit and overtly expressive in their objection on the same. There have also been a few health experts who have said that this legalisation would perpetuate unsafe sex and consequently the HIV virus.

Now, there are a few not so comfortable questions these objectionists need to answer:

1) Isn't the criminalisation of homosexual activity amongst consenting adults not against the articles 21 , 14 and 15 of our Constitution? Article 21 talks about the Right to life and liberty, which infers the right of an individual to choose one's partner. Article 14 talks about the Right to Equality and the Equal protection of laws, and the Article 15 talks about non-discrimination on the basis of caste, religion ,race, creed, sex, and here sex should not be merely referred to the gender but also to mean sexual orientation. This rests on the same principle of protecting the minorities like women, muslims, sikhs etc.

2) When certain communities/religions have their own personal laws to determine their way of life as against the law of the land, now suddenly why start harping that it is against any sacred book/religion and that India should not legalise such an act? Since when did the law of the Land start affecting them?

3) There are still many unexplained reasons (environmental and genetic) for the behaviour and the sexual oreintations of the gays/homosexuals. Who is anybody to talk about the naturality or the unnaturality of this act till the reasons are well researched and the results known?

4) How can we explain the double standards of people who invite the enuchs to bless a new born baby, while scorning at homosexuals?

5) Instead of fearing an increase in unsafe sex, is it unthinkable that the legalisation of consensual adult homosexual act would result in more of such people asserting their sexual right and coming out into the open? Is it not more feasible to educate them on safe sex and the HIV virus in such a scenario?

Instead of introspecting the above, many are just harping on the decline in moral values that the Delhi HC ruling would encourage. It would do more good to be informed about homosexuals than criticising them. (In fact I have been thinking of the widening in the scope of rape to include homosexuals:))

The term 'Gay' was originally meant to mean ' carefree, happy and uninhibited', also used loosely to comment on the morality of an individual. And during the 20th century, it attained the meaning now widely used for similar kind of reasons. There are arguments as to the environmental and genetic basis or such sexual orientations. There has been no authentic conclusion so far. However, there have been some studies on the fruit flies, where a DNA transplant made the male fruit flies move away from the females and get attracted to the male fruit flies. Also, there have been studies on the physiological and cognitive similarities between straight men and gay women, and similarly between gay men and straight women.

So, the crucification of personal choice of sexual orientation and partners need not be so malicious as has been expressed from various quarters. It is after all a matter of personal choice, and morever, what about heterosexuals who indulge in homosexual acts, or are bisexual? In which ambit would such individuals fall?

Let us all believe in the policy of 'live and let live' There is nothing wrong in disliking or not prescribing to a thought or an action which may be morally debatable in one's eyes. The strength of an individual lies more in the continous strive in learning to cohabitate peacefully with people holding such thoughts or values. Now, if that is not being GAY---GOOD AS YOU, what is?????

Selective Liberalism

Ever since the French President Nicolas Sarkozy stated that burkhas are not welcome in his country, there has been a lot of debate and heat generated on liberalism and freedom of individual choice. But there are different aspects relating to this controversial statement. One, that so called liberal democracies still suffer from narrow-mindedness, and for this statement on burkha to come from a democracy that gave us the principles of Liberty, Equality and Fraternity, this is not a small concern. Second, the countries which are raising a hue and cry as to the French President's statement could as well look into their own backyard.

Liberalism stands on the principle that an individual has the right to decide what he/she wants for himself/herself as long as it does not hinder the liberty of others. When this principle is taken to the higher plane of the State, then a State can impose any laws it wants, but this should not hinder the personal choice or the liberty of the individuals in the concerned State, as long as it does not impede national security. It is in this context that Sarkozy's statement needs to be debated. Sarkozy's statement is definitely regressive. But this cannot hide the fact that the same principle of liberalism should extend to the Muslim -majority States like Saudi Arabia, where even the non-muslim minorities are supposed to be attired in hijab. Well, if one has a right to read Quran, others do have the right to read the Satanic Verses or watch a Da Vinci Code. If someone, muslim or otherwise, wants to wear a burkha, it is their personal choice. There are many who say that a burkha stands for male domination and female oppression, but there are as many women who wear it on their own accord. This altogether is another debate. But the argument remains that one cannot want to let their religious brethren to have all the freedom of personal choice, while the other religious members are not provided the same in the muslim-majority States.

A State in the modern world cannot afford to be religious. This is where the entire argument on the wearing of burkhas and hijab leads to. And all the States need to introspect their own standards and standing on liberalism, if not selective liberalism.

Strategic Management of Love--Lesson 1

Note: All these lessons are for those who are genuinely interested in someone, or will be at some point of time in future;) All the best

1.Never Expose your interest : It is in this one field of love that something acquired without hardwork is scorned upon. The harder you are to be attained by the other person, the higher you put up your price, the harder you play to get, the more will the other person's interest be retained in you. Hence, even if you are dying of wanting to look at the other person when you meet him/her for the first time, dying to talk to them, just let be ( I know it is very hard, but trust me it works). U feel like calling him/her up after you return home, DON'T. Wait till the other person calls you. Do not show too much enthusiasm in the conversation while maintaining a courteous interest ( keep it almost formal). Better to keep alive an element of confusion so that the other person does not assume you are totally disinterested. That confusion can make the other person keep thinking about you more;)

This exhibition of so called lack of interest in the other person may work for you in two ways. One, the person will start thinking about you as to what is it that you found disinteresting in him/her. This could be due to ego or otherwise. Second, it will give more impetus to the other person to make you interested in him/her and like him/her.

So, instead of other person thinking that you were an easy conquest and may be lead to the danger of the person losing interest in you easily or soon enough, put up your price darlings!!!. This is not the age of sincerity, rather it is the age of exhibiting what the other person expects of you. It truly helps in the long run, one to know whether he/she had the patience and true liking for you to take time to woo and impress you, and secondly, that time-gap would help you understand him/her better.

Mars and Venus....?????

After reading the two books "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" and "Why Mars and Venus Collide" by John Gray and a few other books on similar lines like " Why Men don't Listen and Women can't read Maps", I can't help but wonder about the utility of reading these books for some.

As far as my understanding of these books is concerned, its about appreciating the differences between two individuals in a relationship, and making efforts to integrate these in order to make a relationship work. But except for the very few enlightened amongst us, this book is used merely to justify ourselves that "its not just me, there is a whole lot like me", " see, everyone is like that, I dont know what u r complaining about."

So, wats about these books then? Do they help people in improving the quality of relationships? So, for my own benefit and the benefit of many others, I have come up with my own list of the DOs and DONTs for a happy and satisfying relationship ;)) under STRATEGIC MANAGEMENT OF LOVE , which will be a series of blogs starting with my next blog.

So, all u inhabitants of Mars and Venus, HAVE A NICE DAY!!!

Recession??----NAH, not to these Private Hospitals

The other day, on a weekend ,I and my friend were at a restaurant which was inhabited sparcely at about 1 p.m. in the afternoon, and my friend was lamenting the impact of recession on the "eating-out" habits of people, amongst others. Well, I guess each one of us has become too conscious of the gloomy impact of recession in every walk of our lives to be thinking of other reasons for any happening or event. But guess what, there are a few "blessed" ones who need not worry about this. Oh, one may ask who they are ? Well, here you go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was this woman who had been to a particular private nursing home in Chennai to confirm whether she had conceived. Well, by the time the reports of the tests arrived, the Doctor was ready with the bill and the consultation fee. Now, one may ask what is strange about this? That is the interesting part. The bill and the consultation fee amount was decided after asking the woman whether she was a working woman, a housewife or was she in the IT sector. When this incident was narrated by the woman, I was shocked. I had rather innocently and ignorantly assumed that hospitals charge fee for a particular test or a treatment and was sadly enlightened with the fact that it is the working or non-working status/belonging to the IT sector that determines the fees to be charged from the patients, and not the test/treatment cost itself. That is when I started thinking about the guidelines on fees charged by private hospitals and the nature of their operations, in general.

There are certain unpleasant facts about private hospitals in our country that require a closer scrutiny. Firstly, it is a misconception that private hospitals alone can provide quality treatment to the patients. In fact, the condition and the quality of care in these hospitals requires a lot to be desired. This is a direct consequence of the lack of regulation and monitoring . Secondly, we do not have any statistics available on the various private hospitals , and the categorization of the same, from the smallest nursing homes to the largest, in our country. Thirdly, there is no information on the infrastructure, qualified doctors and nurses , and the quality of treatment in a majority of these hospitals. And coming to the fees, there are no regulations or guidelines for the amount to be charged by these hospitals. There are a number of hospitals running in dilapitated houses, under unhygienic conditions, putting the patients' lives at risk. Alas, some are run in the form of proprietorship. How many times would we have not considered running to an Apollo than to a nursing home in our quite residential area? Definitely, we do not trust our lives with them. And how many times would have a number of people not delayed getting a routine check-up done because they would have to shell out some 2.5k for the same? Not all are as lucky as we "corporate fellas" with medical reimbursements to such an extent.

What is it that we can do in such a scenario? For starters, we can report such incidents, as the one mentioned earlier, to the concerned authorities so as to enable suitable action against the miscreants, as such deeds by the hospitals/doctors are nothing less of crime. The woman, who had shared the incident with me has already reported the same to the concerned authorities. Next, we need to persuade the concerned Governments to start recording and documenting all the information pertaining to the private hospitals. There is also a need for the creation of guidelines and the regulation of fees charged at these hospitals, on the basis of national and regional criteria. The balance sheets and the records of these hospitals should be audited. Stringent action should be taken against hospitals which do not follow the quality guidelines and utilise the services of unqualified doctors and nurses. The doctors have a much more important role to play. Similar to the enthusiasm they show in expressing empathy and solidarity towards their fellow doctors when they are attacked by some aggrieved relatives of a dying patient, they also should press for the streamlining of rules and regulations for monitoring the private hospitals. I guess that such an action on their part would do a lot to improve their image in the eyes of the general public, and instill confidence in a layman to go to a nursing home next door, than always relying his/her life with the Apollos and the Wockhardts , and ending up paying exhorbitant amounts in the form of fees.

Let us wake up to this call and do what little we can and hope that the hospitals do not lose out on their raison d’etre’, "Cause recession or no recession, time, age and illness wait for none!!!!"